I can’t believe how quickly the last 38 weeks have flew by. I’m finally approaching the last two weeks of my pregnancy and we’ll soon be welcoming our little guy into the world. It is SO surreal. So many feelings are flowing through me these last few days and to be honest, it’s been keeping me up at night. I think it’s mother nature’s way of preparing me for motherhood.
Most of these feelings are mixed emotions, bittersweet, but definitely mainly sweet. I thought I’d take the opportunity to share some of how I feel today alongside with some maternity photos we took in the privacy of our home, where we feel the most comfortable as we prepare to become a family of three.
Bittersweet Feeling 1: From Bump to No Bump
It’s so wild to think that in a couple of weeks, I’ll be transitioning from having a baby inside of me to having a baby in my arms. Seeing the belly grow and gaining nearly 40 lbs has been one of the most revelling and scary experiences of my life. I had no idea how quickly things would progress and what a toll growing a human would do to my body physically. I never thought my legs and feet would get SO tired at the end of the day and no idea that all sorts of aches and pains would appear so early on and continue for weeks and weeks. And in the last couple of weeks, turning while sleeping has been a REAL struggle, the belly weight is NO JOKE. But as much as I look forward to moving swiftly in bed from side to side to seeing my swollen legs and feet deflate soon enough, I am going to MISS this belly.
I’m going to miss those flutters which recently have become some aggressive kicks along my side ribs. I’m going to miss rubbing this round belly that seems to continue to grow each day. I’m going to miss seeing my belly contort to an alien like shape after I eat, and I’m truly going to miss being amazed at how incredible a woman’s body is.
Bittersweet Feeling 2: Maternity (aka Naternity) Leave
My maternity leave officially commenced last week. Let me tell you, leaving work for nearly 15 months makes me really nervous! I’ve never taken a break from my day job in the last 15 years and in fact I’ve been with the same company ever since I graduated. The thought of being away for such a long time really gave me some anxiety, especially when I’m super Type A. I think what I’m most nervous about is that I’ll be missing out on the action or seen as taking a step back from my career, even though I know that’s not the case. I’ve already accomplished so much in my work and I should feel good and proud of what I’m temporarily leaving behind. But a part of me is scared that my brain will turn into mush and I’ll become less sharp or it’ll take me a lot of effort to ‘get back into the game’ when I return.
However, I am REALY looking forward to taking a break from work and embarking on this new journey. Taking care of this new life is going to challenge me in ways that I know I’ve never experienced before. It will test my patience, teach me new things about myself, strengthen my weaknesses, and probably discover a few new ones. It’s going to be mentally stimulating in a different kind of way, and to that, I’m eager to see how well or not so well I will do. It’s all about learning and I know this is going to be THE ultimate learning experience.
In addition to devoting most of my time to this new member, I’m also looking forward to spending more time on creating content. I took a step back when I got pregnant and I miss writing regularly and working on creative projects. So despite feeling a bit sad about leaving work, I’m also happy to see what is to come and how I will grow in other aspects of my life.
Bittersweet Feeling 3: Dressing the Bump
Though I’m excited to soon fit into my own wardrobe again soon (I hope!), I must say I had a blast dressing the bump! It was fun finding items in my own closet that I was able to repurpose to accommodate a growing belly but also discovering a number of maternity (and non-maternity) brands that worked so well. Bump fashion take some skill to master and I found it so encouraging when my readers/followers would comment or ask me about my great finds! There were also several occasions when strangers would come up to me and comment on how great I looked based on what I wore! They often expressed that when they were pregnant, they only lived in sweats and baggy clothes and wished they were more adventurous and confident with more sporting form fitting clothing. I will definitely miss dressing the bump but I can’t wait until I can wear a pair of jeans and high heels again!
I will share a final post on maternity fashion soon, primarily my experience with renting through Sprout Collection vs. Buying.
Thank you so much to all of you who followed along with me throughout this journey, from the moment I shared our fertility story to now sharing my insecurities, it’s been incredible to share and have so many of you be supportive and open about your own experiences. I am sure there will be more to come on postpartum and becoming a new mommy, and I’m so glad to have a community with me along the way.
Soon, I will meet our little man, and you will too!
Photo Credits: Laura Clarke Photography